Ebb and Flow

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My name is Dan Godley and I was unexpectedly diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer on November 8th 2021, at the age of 28. Pancreatic Cancer is a very aggressive form of cancer and one that is rarely found in people my age. Although this blog was created as a response to the diagnosis, the aim of it is far-reaching: to document my experience of cancer, provide a space of catharsis for the many thoughts throughout the journey and beyond, and to help others find positivity and meaning in life that only became possible to me once I was facing this situation.


The blog is named after a little-known song by a little-known band called Homebound, which broke up a few years ago. The chorus of this song always stood out to me and does so now more than ever. If anything I write can have a similar impact on someone else, then I consider it a huge success.

Life never gets easier at all

Just a little more heavy and harder to control

The highs and lows they come and go,

So do what’s best for you and know

We were a drop in the sea,

Part of the ebb and flow

Much Love, Dan


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A Bell of Hope

The Chemotherapy Diaries Saturday was chemotherapy session number 5. More importantly, I baked the nurses a Blueberry Cheesecake that seemed to go down well, but I didn’t hear how it tasted as I left before they went to lunch. I wish I had asked for a slice as the bake looked better than my trial…

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Inspiring Stories from a Pancreatic Survivor

The universe has been up to its old tricks again. A woman named Julie left a comment on my Strava a few days ago, saying, “Hi Dan. My Dad had the same as you. Would it help you to talk to him? He was really into his fitness when he got diagnosed. It helped massively…

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How Much Do I Share?

The Chemotherapy Diaries There are some new challenges of chemotherapy seeping in. I assumed (perhaps naively) that I would understand the lay of the land by session 4 and that the difficulties would be mostly known in my treatment routine. It had even occurred to me that I might run out of things to write…

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100 to 1

I woke up feeling somewhat determined today. Despite my last Chemotherapy Diaries post claiming that everything was perfect this cycle, it went pear-shaped over the weekend. But that is for another post. Today was the day that I stopped wallowing in my own self-pity and actually did something. There was a sign this morning that…

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Poetry

Perfection

Striving for perfectionA feat that I concedeMay lead to an imperfectionOf my personalityCritiquing all the writingEnsuring it is freeFrom grammatical delusionNo need for subtletyProposition and a verbThe subject here is meThese rules are non-negotiableWho has deceiv’d thee?And please call me a pedantA badge I wear with gleeThere’s no shades to this greyI’m apathetic to your…

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Alive

The boundaries are blurred so I wait Observing from a distance, I consider my fate In time there’s some meaning I establish my feelings A calming naivety, au fait As I recoil back within Escape the prison of my skin I know that I suffer, but I’m alive There’s moments of fear And flashes of…

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3:00am

All I have is time I had it before, but now it stares at me. The morning waves, the evening scowls My watch holds my wrist Patiently My head falls through the pillow It screams and pulls my eyes open And my watch is waiting, staring: 3:00am Discussion I wrote 3:00am in the first week…

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Positivity Playlist

A collaborative playlist for positive vibes only!