Ebb and Flow

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My name is Dan Godley and I was unexpectedly diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer on November 8th 2021, at the age of 28. Pancreatic Cancer is a very aggressive form of cancer and one that is rarely found in people my age. Although this blog was created as a response to the diagnosis, the aim of it is far-reaching: to document my experience of cancer, provide a space of catharsis for the many thoughts throughout the journey and beyond, and to help others find positivity and meaning in life that only became possible to me once I was facing this situation.


The blog is named after a little-known song by a little-known band called Homebound, which broke up a few years ago. The chorus of this song always stood out to me and does so now more than ever. If anything I write can have a similar impact on someone else, then I consider it a huge success.

Life never gets easier at all

Just a little more heavy and harder to control

The highs and lows they come and go,

So do what’s best for you and know

We were a drop in the sea,

Part of the ebb and flow

Much Love, Dan


Latest Posts

Blog

On… Email

It is difficult for my generation to understand how the world worked before emails became a thing. As a 30-year-old, I remember what things were like before email was so prominent, but it was during a time when I wouldn’t have really used it anyway. Despite the fact that many young people now have smartphones…

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Goodbye, Portner in Crime

You ever wonder how deep you could sink into nothing at all? There are always multiple ways to frame situations in life. When the oncologists told me straight after my first ‘all clear’ scan that I needed to have my chemotherapy port removed from my chest, I could have chosen to take this as a…

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On… Memory

I’ve always had a bad memory. I can’t remember if it was bad when I was really young, because I don’t remember being really young, but I’m sure it’s been a problem for a while. When I hear people say that their first memory was when they were 4 or 5 years old, I assume…

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3 Month Scan Results

May 10th – The Day Before There is nothing more dangerous in life than going into your appointment to get scan results feeling confident. Nothing tempts fate more than the cancer patient feeling happy and boasting that it is “just a routine scan” and that “everything will be fine”. Well, that’s exactly what I’ve been…

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Blog Series

The Road to…

Documenting how I was diagnosed and how recovery is going

The Chemotherapy Diaries

My journey through chemotherapy

The ‘C’ Word Challenge

Blog posts avoiding the ‘C’ word

Reflections

Reflections on a variety of topics



Poetry

Perfection

Striving for perfectionA feat that I concedeMay lead to an imperfectionOf my personalityCritiquing all the writingEnsuring it is freeFrom grammatical delusionNo need for subtletyProposition and a verbThe subject here is meThese rules are non-negotiableWho has deceiv’d thee?And please call me a pedantA badge I wear with gleeThere’s no shades to this greyI’m apathetic to your…

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Alive

The boundaries are blurred so I wait Observing from a distance, I consider my fate In time there’s some meaning I establish my feelings A calming naivety, au fait As I recoil back within Escape the prison of my skin I know that I suffer, but I’m alive There’s moments of fear And flashes of…

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3:00am

All I have is time I had it before, but now it stares at me. The morning waves, the evening scowls My watch holds my wrist Patiently My head falls through the pillow It screams and pulls my eyes open And my watch is waiting, staring: 3:00am Discussion I wrote 3:00am in the first week…

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Positivity Playlist

A collaborative playlist for positive vibes only!