Ebb and Flow

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My name is Dan Godley and I was unexpectedly diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer on November 8th 2021, at the age of 28. Pancreatic Cancer is a very aggressive form of cancer and one that is rarely found in people my age. Although this blog was created as a response to the diagnosis, the aim of it is far-reaching: to document my experience of cancer, provide a space of catharsis for the many thoughts throughout the journey and beyond, and to help others find positivity and meaning in life that only became possible to me once I was facing this situation.


The blog is named after a little-known song by a little-known band called Homebound, which broke up a few years ago. The chorus of this song always stood out to me and does so now more than ever. If anything I write can have a similar impact on someone else, then I consider it a huge success.

Life never gets easier at all

Just a little more heavy and harder to control

The highs and lows they come and go,

So do what’s best for you and know

We were a drop in the sea,

Part of the ebb and flow

Much Love, Dan


Latest Posts

Blog

Results Day

The Road to Recovery I woke up with a mission today: bake chocolate chip brioche. I had seen it in the shop a few days ago and excitedly purchased it. In defiance of my status as an insulin-dependent diabetic person, one of only 400,000 in the UK apparently, according to a stat I read a…

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Waitin’ Round to Die; Anticipating More Scan Results

The Road to Recovery I tried to kill the pain, I bought some wine and hopped a trainSeemed easier than just waitin’ round to die Townes Van Zandt is widely regarded as a veteran of American songwriting. I don’t listen to a wide variety of his music, but I’ve loved ‘Waiting Around to Die’ since…

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Mouth Ulcers and The End of Chemotherapy

The Chemotherapy Diaries I thought I’d left my abusive relationship with mouth ulcers in the past… the mouth ulcers had another thing in mind. They decided to come back in force and ruin my victory lap week with the mop-up treatment. Rather than being excited about reaching the end of my journey with chemotherapy, I…

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Under Surveillance – The Final Cycle

The Chemotherapy Diaries I draw a line in my life Singing, “this is the new way I behave now” One of my favourite writers is George Orwell. For years, I only really knew of his novel 1984 and the novella Animal Farm, and I wasn’t too fussed about either. It was only when I Googled…

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Failing the Blood Test

The Chemotherapy Diaries Last Monday, I read a victim story posted by Pancreatic Cancer Action on Twitter. I try to read them when I see them, as I’ve written for the charity a few times, and they generously shared my story on their website before. It feels like a tit-for-tat situation – people read my…

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Blog Series

The Road to…

Documenting how I was diagnosed and how recovery is going

The Chemotherapy Diaries

My journey through chemotherapy

The ‘C’ Word Challenge

Blog posts avoiding the ‘C’ word

Reflections

Reflections on a variety of topics



Poetry

Perfection

Striving for perfectionA feat that I concedeMay lead to an imperfectionOf my personalityCritiquing all the writingEnsuring it is freeFrom grammatical delusionNo need for subtletyProposition and a verbThe subject here is meThese rules are non-negotiableWho has deceiv’d thee?And please call me a pedantA badge I wear with gleeThere’s no shades to this greyI’m apathetic to your…

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Alive

The boundaries are blurred so I wait Observing from a distance, I consider my fate In time there’s some meaning I establish my feelings A calming naivety, au fait As I recoil back within Escape the prison of my skin I know that I suffer, but I’m alive There’s moments of fear And flashes of…

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3:00am

All I have is time I had it before, but now it stares at me. The morning waves, the evening scowls My watch holds my wrist Patiently My head falls through the pillow It screams and pulls my eyes open And my watch is waiting, staring: 3:00am Discussion I wrote 3:00am in the first week…

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Positivity Playlist

A collaborative playlist for positive vibes only!