The boundaries are blurred so I wait Observing from a distance, I consider my fate In time there’s some meaning I establish my feelings A calming naivety, au fait As I recoil back within Escape the prison of my skin I know that I suffer, but I’m alive There’s moments of fear And flashes of pain Some days last an hour Some hours last a day In confidence I cry out and drop the facade But I fight on regardless Alive
Discussion
I wrote ‘Alive’ about a week after being finally diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. I’ve been reading it in my notes on my phone since Monday, as I am finding myself relating to the words much more than I have been of late. This cycle of chemotherapy has been the most uncomfortable so far and my mood is suffering a bit because of it. At the time of writing this poem I felt unsure about my diagnosis and how worried I was. The first 3 verses were written about my struggle to come to terms with both the mental and physical elements of the diagnosis. The last 3 verses were then added the next morning when I woke up feeling particularly “doomy” about the situation.
Although I want to be as positive about my scenario as I can be, an important part of my process is always accepting negative feelings and trying to deal with them in a healthy way. Pretending that I do not get upset, scared or worried by the diagnosis, and what the future holds for me, will not stop those feelings surfacing. Unfortunately, I am having a few tough days where those feelings are getting the better of me. But it does mean that it feels right to share this poem now, so I hope you enjoy!
I’ll be back to the blogging shortly.
Ebb and Flow 
Thinking of you… keep accepting those thoughts and feelings for what they are – just don’t let the feelings themselves worry you xx
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Thank you. It’ll pass shortly I’m sure – it’s just been a little time since I have been dealing with these sorts of feelings. That in itself is a good thing though. It was always bound to change again at some point xx
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Keep looking out for those twinkles of light xx
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Reblogged this on Art, Music, Photography, Poetry and Quotations.
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Thank you, Goff! That’s awesome. I don’t know enough about the platform right now – I should learn really!
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Pleasure. Great piece of writing. Happy Blogging.
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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Thank you – really appreciate that!
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Always a pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, My Friend!! Have a great day!
😊👍✨✨🎉
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Great poem. I felt what you wrote. Keep inspiring more people. Will be praying for you.
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Thank you so much Ella! Take care
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