
The universe has been up to its old tricks again. A woman named Julie left a comment on my Strava a few days ago, saying, “Hi Dan. My Dad had the same as you. Would it help you to talk to him? He was really into his fitness when he got diagnosed. It helped massively with his treatment. He would be happy to help you x”. I was certainly interested but had no idea what to expect. Nothing could have prepared me for my conversation with Nigel and his fascinating story.
Nigel was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at 72. I believe 72 is the average age of someone diagnosed with the disease, despite me previously claiming it was 76. When I spoke to Ali Stunt, CEO of Pancreatic Cancer Action, she said it was about 72. It was a damning diagnosis at that age, and Nigel’s was no different. He was told it was inoperable and given 8 months to live. He didn’t accept this, though and insisted on treatment. The doctors offered him Folfirinox, the same treatment that I am on. It sounds like they had to deliver it slightly differently to me. Nigel spent 12 hours at the hospital on his treatment days; I assume this is to give his body more time to process the drugs.
After 6 months of chemotherapy, apparently of which Nigel sailed through (his daughter Julie gave a slightly different account, but I’m not picking sides), the doctors were utterly floored by the chemotherapy’s effects on the tumour. Apparently, a 30% reduction in size would be good, but he had achieved closer to 54%. They couldn’t believe it. All of a sudden, Nigel was being considered for surgery. Julie told me they wanted to see how fit his body was to understand if it would withstand surgery. To do this, they asked him to attend a session where he would be asked to run on a treadmill and measure his heart rate. Nigel has kept himself fit his whole life, and it is evident from his pictures. Julie told me that he showed up in his complete workout kit, expecting an intense workout session. He was ready for anything, never mind a measly surgery. Fast-forward to 2022, Nigel is approaching his 3-year clear scan at The Christie. Even better, he has the same specialist as I do.
In spite of the fact that this story is incredible, inspiring and frankly, insane, that isn’t even the most remarkable thing about Nigel. The man is a national treasure. After meeting him, I wasn’t the slightest bit surprised that cancer didn’t manage to better him. He is the most positive person I have ever spoken to, and the effect it had on me was priceless. It took a 40-minute conversation on the phone, and I felt like a new person. “If someone tells you that you have 8 months to live, you need to enjoy your time even more. Why would you spend that time being miserable when it won’t change anything anyway?” It is rhetoric that I preach on this blog, but seeing someone living and breathing it to such an extent is so refreshing.
I am so grateful that Nigel’s daughter Julie reached out to me and put me in contact with him. The story is so unlikely for pancreatic cancer that you’d assume it was fictional, but it isn’t. I am sure there is so much more to it than I am aware of, and it would make a superb blog. I get the impression that Nigel would see that as a waste of time, though. “Some people spend all their time feeling miserable in support groups after being diagnosed. I never got that.” He made me laugh a lot, even when I didn’t necessarily agree with him, although I wasn’t sure when to take him entirely seriously. His sentences produce a smile, each one laced with flippancy and confidence towards cancer, life and everything in between.
Meeting Nigel made me think a lot about my approach to fighting cancer. I am at a different stage to him, and I cannot see into the future to see how things end up for me. But it made me realise that I don’t need to know the future to understand the best approach to fighting cancer. It is not about fighting the cancer at all; it’s about grasping onto the things that make you feel happy and continuing on with life as usual to the best of your ability. Right now, the significant limitations on me are due to the chemotherapy drugs and their effect on my body. I am running again, though, I’m managing to view wedding venues with my fiance, and I am managing to get enough effort together to bake and cook plenty of food. Alongside all of this, I’ve started a blog that I am really enjoying writing, something I would not have done if not for being diagnosed.
It can be an interesting exercise to think about what you have been spending mental effort on recently. What has bothered you the most in the past 7 days? How quickly did you resolve the worry, or is it continuing? Lately, there have been quite a few things on my mind, cancer and non-cancer. The surgery is a constant worry for me – whether I will get to a point that they offer it to me, how well I will manage to recover from it and whether the surgeon will be able to remove enough of the pancreas to stop it coming back. For the most part, I realise that these things are natural worries, but I also know that worrying about them offers minimal benefit to me. Worrying about it won’t make it better, change the outcome, or influence my body towards any different conclusion. Worrying about it at night and letting fear cripple my existence could actually make those thoughts more likely to come true. Stress is deadly on the body and mind, and my body is under a lot of physical stress right now anyway; it doesn’t enjoy having the cancer either based on my heart rate during my runs.
So my pledge to myself is to prioritise enjoying myself and being happy. Nigel is living his life without fear, and I can’t imagine him expending any mental effort, energy or stress on things he doesn’t see value in. I hope to meet him in person eventually as I would love to write more about him. I think anyone could learn a lot from him. Life is too short, and when you have pancreatic cancer at 28, life really can feel short. No better time to enjoy it than now.
So today, I went out and ran my 4 miles (I did 4.2 actually), I went to the dentist, and tonight I am going to view a wedding venue. The dentist was good fun – there’s nothing wrong with my teeth. Glad to know there’s an area of my body living carefree in the cancer period. Regarding the wedding venue, we’re curious to see if the ‘C’ card really can save you money on things – we’re hoping so. I’ll have to update on that in another blog titled ‘The Benefits of Cancer’… it’s likely going to be a short post.
Dear Dan,
Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
I truly enjoy reading your awesome blog (my wonderful daughter Norah introduced me to). Your positive attitude towards life and others is inspiring and motivating. You remind us all that life is precious and deserves to be fully embraced.
Namaste ๐๐ผ๐
Love and Light,
Elke ๐ป
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Hey Elke. Thank you for reading. Your daughter really is wonderful – Anna and I love her! Sheโs even made it into one of my posts ๐ hopefully you noticed. Life really is precious. Take care, Dan.
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Hej Dan, thank you so much for your reply! Yes, I read your post where you mentioned Norah. How lovely! I feel as if I am there visiting with you with her. Life is indeed precious, and so is friendship, which goes beyond the mundane, connecting us to each other and giving meaning to life. After all, life is about being there for each other, supporting each other by sharing joys and sorrows and knowing that we are deeply connected spiritually, is it not. Through your writing, you connect with other and help them to be and stay connected. A pepple being dropped in a lake creates ripples extending to the rivers and oceans, and thus reaching all of us. The same applies to love. You are a gift to this world! Thank you! Namaste๐๐ผ
Love and light, Elke ๐งก
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Hey. Aw so many lovely words here that it is hard to address them all! Life is certainly about connecting with others and I’m very glad that the blog is allowing me to do just that. Take care, Dan x
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Inspiring story!
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Very much so. Amazing man!
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Good for you, about avoiding worry. It has no ability to change anything except to make us feel bad. That’s awesome, meeting someone like Nigel, he will be an inspiration when you really need it. Thanks for sharing him with us.
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It really is – he has given me so much perspective. I really am so grateful for him!
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This is social media working in a positive way. Makes the world smaller. Glad Dad could help xx
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So true! Youโve both helped so much xx
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Such brilliant update from you Dan, love reading your blogs, so pleased you have made contact with this amazing man proving anything is possible xx
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Hej Dan, Thanks much for your message! Yes, I read your post mentioning Norah. How lovely! Life is precious indeed, and so is friendship, exceeding the mundane in its power to give life meaning. After all, life is about being there for each other, supporting each other by sharing joy and worries, knowing that we are deeply connected. Through your writing you make friendships possible. You connect and help others to connect. You are a gift to this world! Thank you! Namaste ๐๐ผ
Love and Light, Elke ๐งก
You are a gift to the world!
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